Three lies and a truth

Sermon for the First Sunday after the Epiphany, the Baptism of Our Lord, Year A (January 8, 2023).

View the scripture readings and the Collect of the Day: First Sunday after the Epiphany

Preached at St. James’ Episcopal Church in Hyde Park, NY. A video of our whole 10 am service for the First Sunday after the Epiphany, the Baptism of Our Lord (Jan 8th) is available here.

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And when Jesus had been baptized, just as he came up from the water, suddenly the heavens were opened to him and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:16-17

Edited Transcript

May only truth be spoken here and only truth be heard. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Please be seated.

This morning, we're going to have two baptisms of two beloved members of our congregation, Joey and Kristina, and we're all rejoicing with you today. We're so grateful that you're part of this congregation.

And if there's one thing that I'd invite us to remember about baptism, it is this: It is in baptism, first, that we get our identity. Who we are—before anything else—is members of the body of Christ. First, that we get our identity, who we are, who we are before anything else, is members of the body of Christ. Who we are—before anything else—is beloved children of God. And that goes for everybody.

Now I don't know about you, but it's not always easy for me to remember that who I am—first—is God's beloved child. The Dutch theologian Henry Nouwen has written that there are three lies about our identity that most of us will take on over the course of our lives. None of these lies are bad or wicked. Most of them are true in some way, but they don't go down deep enough. So if we believe that any of these three lies is the sum total of who we are, and we forget our core identity of being members of the body of Christ, beloved children of God, then we're missing something crucial.

So here are the three lies. One: I am what I have. Two: I am what I do. And three: I am what other people think or say about me.

The first one: I am what I have. This one seems pretty simple. Maybe it starts with deriving my identity from where I live, my house or my apartment, or the kind of car I drive, or the clothes that I put on my body, the way I do my hair. [I see someone in the back with their hair, <laugh>, just checking it!] But it's more than that, "I am what I have." It can be about money or things, but sometimes it can become about I have or don't have a spouse, a loved one, children. I have or don't have a job, a career that matters. I have or don't have markers of identity: a certification, a certificate. There are so many things that we can have, or not have, that can become the way that we understand ourselves, and how we answer the question, who are you?

Number two: I am what I do. This one is even trickier. I am what I do. How often have you been at a party, And the first thing someone says to you is, well, what do you do? I am what I do: what I do for, for work, for a living, what I do with my volunteer time, what I do with my day-to-day life. But these identity markers too...The longer you live, the more you realize that what I do, what I can do, what I can't do, those things change over the course of my life. And for those of us who end up deriving our identity and our worth from the things we're able to do—for most of us, there comes a time in our life where we can no longer do those things. Or the things we can do or can't do change!a I think this is why oftentimes when someone retires who's been working at at a job for 30 years or so, there's a sense of identity loss and, and there can be a crisis immediately following retirement, because what I do has become who I am.

And then third: what I am is what other people think about me or say about me. This one, this one gets me. And for most of us, it starts from when we're very young. Someone calls me a mean name in school? My whole adult life, there might be someone in the back of my head reminding me that I'm that person, that name. But like most of these, it can also go in a positive direction. People see me as a particular thing. People see you as having particular qualities and you're constantly trying to live up to that. But these things too, they don't last. What other people think about me or say about me might sustain me for a season, but there may come a time when I'm called to do something that causes someone to lose respect for me or causes someone to break relationship with me. Does that mean that I no longer am who I thought I was, if someone changes their opinion of me?

All these things: the things I have or don't have, the things I do or don't do, the ways that people do or don't think about me... All these things, they can serve as markers of who we are. They can tell us who we are for a time, for a season. But like the prophet says, the grass withers, the flower fades. There's only one thing that endures. The Word of our Lord endures forever.

Who I am: if I base that on what I do, it fades. Who I am: if I base that on what I have, it's just a gift from God and it's gonna pass through my fingers. Who I am: if I base that on others' opinions—those change! One thing endures.

That's the word of God, which is given to each of us at baptism: "You are my beloved child. In you, I am well pleased. I'm pleased with you."

Who you are is the beloved child of God. And it's because Jesus received those words when he was baptized. When we are baptized and made members of his body, we too take on that identity: God's beloved child. That identity does not fade.

Who you are is God's beloved. Today and every day. Amen. Amen.